i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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