Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize