Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
