Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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