Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
