I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize