Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize