Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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