i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize