why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
