It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
