Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
