I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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