I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
