I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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