You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
