i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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