the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
