There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize