tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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