Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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