I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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