I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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