In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
