ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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