Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its not stalking. its research.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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