let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
