Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
