It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
