Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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