A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
