So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
