Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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