my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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