i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
