Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize