I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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