I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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