dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Mom said you looked used
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
