Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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