I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
