Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
