You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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