I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I FOUND THE LEGS
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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