Where is the hickey?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
