Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You are the jesus of drinking
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
