i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
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I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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