Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
