Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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