i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
