I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You have to summon your inner elephant
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
