Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
