I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Drake has all the answers
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
