I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize