Christians are straight up FREAKS
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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