If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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