So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
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just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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