Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
