Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
