I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
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i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
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Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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