alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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