Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
