I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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